The following articles from the September
2006 issue are reprinted with permission of The Forum, Al-Anon
Family
Group Hdqs., Inc., Virginia Beach, VA. For more articles, check The Forum
archive.
Choosing Differently Boosted My Self-Esteem
Anonymous,
Canada
God gave me an unusual gift. When I was born, I was missing a hand. My parents tell me I was a happy, loving, outgoing, little girl. When I entered grade one, I stated to change. I became angry, ashamed, and self-critical. In order to cope, I started denying who I was. I began hiding that part of me, which took so much energy and caused great anxiety.
Numerous counselors tried to help me overcome my fears of rejection and my difficulties with self-acceptance. I lost out on many opportunities due to feeling insecure with the way I look. I was depressed, suicidal, and I isolated myself from others. I was deteriorating emotionally and physically. I tried changing my outer appearance to make myself look better—to make me feel beautiful.
Some of my choices led me down traumatic roads. I mistook sex for love and became promiscuous, which left me feeling unhappy. I used food to comfort my unhealthy feelings and became overweight. I realized the way I was living wasn’t working for me, but continued living in the insanity. I feel sad when I think about how I stayed married to an abusive alcoholic who disrespected me, humiliated me, and broke my heart.
Al-Anon has helped change my life. I’ve overcome situations I never believed I could. In Al-Anon I’ve learned to be honest with who I am and to love and accept myself. I got tired of being a victim. I no longer rely on others for my happiness—instead I turn to my Higher Power or my Sponsor. In return I feel relief and serenity. I’m gentle with myself and understand this is a lifetime commitment.
This past year, I’ve seen so much growth in myself. I’m learning to “Let Go and Let God.” Shame, guilt, and old resentments are disappearing from my past. The quality of my relationships with my children, friends, and family are improving.
Although I still struggle with my ex-husband’s alcoholism, I know that one day—because of this Twelve Step program—there will be peace between us. For the first time in my life, I’m able to look at myself and say, “I love you.”
Referral:
Attend Al-Anon Family Groups
Johnny
J., Texas
I went to counselors for a number of years. Some seemed to help more than others. One day I happened to mention that my dad had been a drunk and the counselor began writing on her pad. At the end of my session, she recommended I attend an Al-Anon meeting.
I knew my life was miserable, but never would have guessed it had anything to do with my father’s alcoholism. Growing up in an alcoholic home was like surviving in a war zone. I experienced constant anxiety and fear.
I had never heard of Al-Anon and didn’t have a clue what a life-changing program awaited me. The cycle of alcoholism began to break the dday the counselor said, “I recommend you go to an Al-Anon meeting.” I’ve discovered that when one family member gets help, everyone in the family benefits. I have often thought about going back to the counselor and hugging her neck for saving my life.
Today life is good. I still have bad days, but I am having a wonderful life. Thanks God someone made that counselor aware of Al-Anon because I don’t know that I would have ever gotten here otherwise. I believe cooperating with the professional community is one of the most important service opportunities Al-Anon has.